What? Another important aspect of courtship, specifically a Christian courtship, is prayer.
Who? If a couple is in a courtship trying to determine God's will for them both, it's a really good idea to talk to Him.
Why? God should definitely be at the center of your courtship and relationship.
When? A good time would be when you're riding in a bus together toward the ocean, and the driver announces that the gas pedal is stuck to the floor, and the brakes have stopped working. There are other good times to pray (like whenever you are together, or maybe talking on the phone), but I would especially recommend it then.
Side Advantages: Okay guys, listen up (well.. chances are, you're taller than me, so listen down if you must). The man is called to be the Spiritual leader of his wife and household. So this is a good time to start preparing for that. But here's a little extra motivation for you.
This may be true for guys too, but as a girl I know that when I hear someone praying for me, they automatically receive anywhere from 10-2348739287438 awesomeness points in my book. So yeah! Just remember that if you create too many awesomeness point marks in her book, she might eventually run out of space. And her pencil might go dull. Of course, then you could buy her paper and offer to sharpen her pencils... but I think that's beside the point.
Heheheheh.... If you've already gotten her dad's permission for this... Praying with her is an AWESOME way to get to hold her hands!! Of course, if you're in the bus situation, she might be gripping her seat so hard that you'd decide that she'd cut off all circulation if she held your hand...
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Destroying the Heart of Flirtatiousness
All fun and games aside, there is one important topic that I feel so strongly about that I can't discuss it in a sarcastic manner, as is so typical on this blog. This is the heart of flirtatiousness.
While flirtatiousness can take on many forms and titles, in essence it's stealing a gift that God hasn't given you.
For all intents and purposes, flirtatiousness is to lead on by your actions and words what you can not righteously fulfill. Quite bluntly, it is possible to play the dating game under the name of "saving your heart", and while never in a relationship with any of those individuals you are still giving your heart to them and taking from them what was never meant to be yours. I'm not going to go any further in defining it because I feel like God writes His commandments on our hearts and it's not necessary for me to make a list of rules.
But what can we do to destroy the spirit of flirtatiousness? While this is gravely incomplete, I have to ideas.
While flirtatiousness can take on many forms and titles, in essence it's stealing a gift that God hasn't given you.
For all intents and purposes, flirtatiousness is to lead on by your actions and words what you can not righteously fulfill. Quite bluntly, it is possible to play the dating game under the name of "saving your heart", and while never in a relationship with any of those individuals you are still giving your heart to them and taking from them what was never meant to be yours. I'm not going to go any further in defining it because I feel like God writes His commandments on our hearts and it's not necessary for me to make a list of rules.
But what can we do to destroy the spirit of flirtatiousness? While this is gravely incomplete, I have to ideas.
- As a young lady it is my desire to build up my brothers in Christ. This is the exact opposite of flirtatiousness and sows the seeds of Christ's love in the lives of others. Think about it, you were placed in this young man's life for a purpose... you have the power to build him up or destroy him... will you choose to selfishly seek your own desires? I'm guessing that this can work the other way around for any guys that may come across this.
- Don't set a standard of preference that your spouse can't live up to. Although this is a perhaps unproven theory, when you show preference (outside of seeking to know God's will but rather for selfish desires) I feel that that sets a standard of your preference which your spouse may never be able to live up to. How this plays out is, he liked her and I can never be as ________ (fill in the blank: skinny as, pretty as, witty as, smart as) her. This does not mean that you can never like anybody till you court and marry but rather that we should not selfishly show preference just because it feels good at the moment.
One of my favorite movie quotes was, "Then cherish her and become the man that she deserves." None of us are perfect, I know that I definitely am not... but we can still begin to cherish our spouse (whether we have an inkling of who that may be or not) and start becoming the person that they deserve.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
The Second Visit
The Second Visit... not as in an increment of time... but like right after the first. ;) Now ladies, After the first visit, believe it or not, there just might be a second! If, after the first visit, you and your dad scratched him off whatever “list” you may have, thrown the scratched-off name in the fire, and maybe changed your telephone number and moved across the country,.. there just might not be a second visit. However, if the visit involved the young man making your younger siblings laff, and your mother pleased at how he wiped his feet when he came in and liked her cooking so well, and your dad talking for the next two days about how he'd love to go hunting or fishing with the guy... and you can't remember the last time you were so happy... There juuust might be a second visit. So be prepared. And gentlemen, when you know a second visit is imminent and you need to start thinking up another setting or arrangement to be with the girl and her family... But it feels like you are playing a card game in which every time you receive a new card it is white with no figures.. or in other words, you are drawing a blank... Here are a few ideas, tips, and pointers to get you started.AFTER gaining approval of your parents, especially your mother the cook, invite the girl and her family over for a meal. Just... Remind your little siblings that this is NOT a time to play with whoopie cushions. Or pile snow on unsuspecting victims' seats.You might like to offer help with fixing her family's car mechanical problems, but for Mr. Green's sake, don't make it the main focus of a formal visit!! I don't know a huge amount of girls who would find it particularly enticing to lie on her back under the car for half the visit, holding a piece in place while you go search for a tool you need. And if you crawl under and lie under there with her, she might freak out and try to sit up only to hit her head on the underside of the car and go unconscious. Even though it'll give you an excuse to bring her flowers while she's in the hospital, just trust me on this one. Clothes shopping? Don't even think about it. Go to an amusement park with her family. Insist that some of you (including her) go on the scariest roller coaster in the park. Then you can act as her hero who sits there and doesn't get scared and hand her mints to suck on so she won't scream. And perhaps, a blindfold. Of course, if you find yourself screaming and you've run out of mints, assure her it was just to make her feel that she wasn't the only one who likes to take the opportunity to exercise her vocal chords at extremely high pitches. The obvious: Find out what type of thing the lady and her family likes to do. And see when you can join in. Really, how bad can going to the opera be? (As I heard one gentleman say once in response to someone who thought it was boring, “Try singing along! Believe me, that makes it real interesting”) Wear a tie. Like, all the time. Don't worry about a collared shirt or anything besides, just so you're wearing the tie. It'll impress her to see how you strive to be sooo professional around her all the time. If you visit a chocolate factory with her family, believe me, “accidentally” falling into a large container of chocolate isn't the idea. It won't make her think you're the sweetest thing ever. (especially if you fall into the chocolate before it's been sweetened)
Monday, March 21, 2011
How To Pull Off That First Visit
If you haven't already met the girl and/or her family the first visit will likely be awkward. Mainly it's awkward because you don't want to be awkward.
A few things to consider is that only 99% of conservative Dads exercise their 2nd amendment rights. Statistically speaking you aren't likely to get shot. Also, the little kids will probably make awkward comments about the relationship. This is great! At least it wasn't you who said it.
So a couple of fool proof ideas for pulling off the first visit
A few things to consider is that only 99% of conservative Dads exercise their 2nd amendment rights. Statistically speaking you aren't likely to get shot. Also, the little kids will probably make awkward comments about the relationship. This is great! At least it wasn't you who said it.
So a couple of fool proof ideas for pulling off the first visit
- Get a couple of fake tattoos. Nothing screams manly and confident like some tattoos. Naturally these should be fake as you don't want to dump too much money down the drain until you know that this relationship will work out.
- Pick the most inconvenient flight time. This shows that you actually do things or else you would have arrived at a different time.
- Ask the Dad for permission to shake her hand upon your arrival. You don't want to take physical liberties without approval.
Overall don't stress the first visit, it will probably turn out worse than you ever imagined. Just don't even hurt those poor brain cells thinking about it. But with some careful thought and preparation you might manage to come back alive.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
What comes next?
My dear reader,
Having come this far into our book, you may be wondering what comes next. If you are, it is a good sign as it shows that you are thinking. Because it is very difficult to wonder about something without thinking. If you DID wonder about what comes next without thinking, please notify us by leaving a comment in the comment box and we will give you special recognition for your special talent. Moving right along, let us concern ourselves with the subject at which we were, and perhaps still are, wondering: What comes next? Now this is a deep, deep question/kweshtin. Some might call it metaphysical. Others might call it philosophical. Regardless, it is a profound question indeed. How does one respond to such a question? What should we do about it? By following our simple steps, this is easily solved. Before we begin our first step, we should pause and clear our brains (if you have them... well, YOU probably have them, but I've never seen mine so it's rather difficult to tell whether or not it's there. Though it MUST be there since it seems to always be hurting and stopping working and... ). First, take a deep breath. Secondly, close your eyes. Third, open them again. You have now successfully blinked. Fourth (optional – not tested by author who does not yet know if her brain exists), somehow remove your brain and wash it with your choice brand of dish detergent and then replace it. Fifth, take a nap. Now you may have done that (or not) (or part) thinking that it was an exceedingly long task for mere preparation of a first step to something. You may even have taken note of the enormity of the pre-step and wondered how big the first step might be. If you have done this, congratulations! You have just performed the first step which consists of verifying that you have a brain by wondering about the pre-step. Secondly, you should use the brain that you now know to exist. This is vital to our process. Thirdly, you must recognize that the human brain is, indeed, fallible. Fourthly, you may want to consider sending me chocolate. Not sure how this applies, but it has to somehow. Fifthly, let me explain to you my outstanding knowledge of the brain. I passed the Intro to Psychology CLEP with a 66 after a week and a half of study. This does not mean that I had ever studied Psychology previously. And it does not, by any means, mean that I can remember much of anything that I learned in my study for the test. We should also ignore the fact that most people could probably pass that test with a week or less of study. And that 66 is only my second-highest CLEP score ever. I did get over 300 on a DSST once. But I'm not sure how that applies. Since.. I also got a 33 on a practice test for the American Government CLEP by clicking “C” all the way through. From this, seeing as you have a brain, you can probably make an educated guess at just how idiosyncratic my profound knowledge in Psychology is. Sixthly, seeing as the human brain is fallible, you may want to review what you have read so far (assuming you have read this chapter so far) and refresh your memory on just what these steps are for. I shall do the same. Seventhly, my spell-checker says that “Seventhly” is not a word. But we shall ignore it for now in order to let you know that the next step may have relevance to our beginning question for which these steps have been made. Eighthly, we must realize that this step may not have anything to do with our beginning question for which these steps have been made. Ninthly, we must realize that there are some questions that the human brain cannot answer. There are also questions that the human brain could answer, but particular ones are fallible, if not ignorant in the subject of the question. Tenthly, you must realize that everyone would approach our question differently, and thus I cannot help you.
But back to our original question: What comes next? After careful research in which my co-author and I have taken upon ourselves to answer this question, and much debate and various discussions and much pondering and a large amount of speculation, we have come to the conclusion that...
We forgot.
Having come this far into our book, you may be wondering what comes next. If you are, it is a good sign as it shows that you are thinking. Because it is very difficult to wonder about something without thinking. If you DID wonder about what comes next without thinking, please notify us by leaving a comment in the comment box and we will give you special recognition for your special talent. Moving right along, let us concern ourselves with the subject at which we were, and perhaps still are, wondering: What comes next? Now this is a deep, deep question/kweshtin. Some might call it metaphysical. Others might call it philosophical. Regardless, it is a profound question indeed. How does one respond to such a question? What should we do about it? By following our simple steps, this is easily solved. Before we begin our first step, we should pause and clear our brains (if you have them... well, YOU probably have them, but I've never seen mine so it's rather difficult to tell whether or not it's there. Though it MUST be there since it seems to always be hurting and stopping working and... ). First, take a deep breath. Secondly, close your eyes. Third, open them again. You have now successfully blinked. Fourth (optional – not tested by author who does not yet know if her brain exists), somehow remove your brain and wash it with your choice brand of dish detergent and then replace it. Fifth, take a nap. Now you may have done that (or not) (or part) thinking that it was an exceedingly long task for mere preparation of a first step to something. You may even have taken note of the enormity of the pre-step and wondered how big the first step might be. If you have done this, congratulations! You have just performed the first step which consists of verifying that you have a brain by wondering about the pre-step. Secondly, you should use the brain that you now know to exist. This is vital to our process. Thirdly, you must recognize that the human brain is, indeed, fallible. Fourthly, you may want to consider sending me chocolate. Not sure how this applies, but it has to somehow. Fifthly, let me explain to you my outstanding knowledge of the brain. I passed the Intro to Psychology CLEP with a 66 after a week and a half of study. This does not mean that I had ever studied Psychology previously. And it does not, by any means, mean that I can remember much of anything that I learned in my study for the test. We should also ignore the fact that most people could probably pass that test with a week or less of study. And that 66 is only my second-highest CLEP score ever. I did get over 300 on a DSST once. But I'm not sure how that applies. Since.. I also got a 33 on a practice test for the American Government CLEP by clicking “C” all the way through. From this, seeing as you have a brain, you can probably make an educated guess at just how idiosyncratic my profound knowledge in Psychology is. Sixthly, seeing as the human brain is fallible, you may want to review what you have read so far (assuming you have read this chapter so far) and refresh your memory on just what these steps are for. I shall do the same. Seventhly, my spell-checker says that “Seventhly” is not a word. But we shall ignore it for now in order to let you know that the next step may have relevance to our beginning question for which these steps have been made. Eighthly, we must realize that this step may not have anything to do with our beginning question for which these steps have been made. Ninthly, we must realize that there are some questions that the human brain cannot answer. There are also questions that the human brain could answer, but particular ones are fallible, if not ignorant in the subject of the question. Tenthly, you must realize that everyone would approach our question differently, and thus I cannot help you.
But back to our original question: What comes next? After careful research in which my co-author and I have taken upon ourselves to answer this question, and much debate and various discussions and much pondering and a large amount of speculation, we have come to the conclusion that...
We forgot.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Physical Boundaries
One of the foundations of a relationship is deciding where you stand on crucial things like physical boundaries. Will you eat out of the same bag of chips on your first "date"? Will you drink out of the same cup when you are engaged? These are legitimate questions that need to be addressed before they become an issue.
A few things to consider as you make your decisions:
1). Since food is the way to a man's heart, you need to be extremely cautious with food. Think about it. You touch the potato chip that he's going to eat. Your hand oils get on it and pretty soon you are on your way to his heart. Okay well... maybe only your hand oils... but still. You should think.
2). You shouldn't just do what seems easiest, but what is right. Yeah... it probably is easier to just share a cup. Less dishes, right? But you have to think. Do I really want to go that far, that quick?
3). Avoid all appearance of evil. If you both reach into the chip bag, people might assume that you are holding hands. So if you decide to both eat out of the same bag, either get a clear one or wait until the other person has grabbed their chips.
Make your standards first, make them your own and hold to them. That's how you'll weather the storms in this chip bag saturated world.
A few things to consider as you make your decisions:
1). Since food is the way to a man's heart, you need to be extremely cautious with food. Think about it. You touch the potato chip that he's going to eat. Your hand oils get on it and pretty soon you are on your way to his heart. Okay well... maybe only your hand oils... but still. You should think.
2). You shouldn't just do what seems easiest, but what is right. Yeah... it probably is easier to just share a cup. Less dishes, right? But you have to think. Do I really want to go that far, that quick?
3). Avoid all appearance of evil. If you both reach into the chip bag, people might assume that you are holding hands. So if you decide to both eat out of the same bag, either get a clear one or wait until the other person has grabbed their chips.
Make your standards first, make them your own and hold to them. That's how you'll weather the storms in this chip bag saturated world.
Friday, February 18, 2011
Are you in L-O-V-E?
For each of these that you have done add one
- made reference to the person you may be in love with more than 5 times in a conversation
- put said person in your status, more than once
- set picture of said person as your cell phone or desktop background
- written about said person in your journal/diary
- been exceedingly happy when said person comes online
- decided that said person's hair type/color is your favorite
- have an endearing nickname for said person
- think said person is cute
- doubled the sugar in a recipe because life was sweet and you weren't paying attention
- you assume that said person's name sounds good with your last name
- if they are in your profile picture
- Told the person to marry somebody else
- Told the person that you view them as a brother/sister - take away two if you did not use the gender appropriate term (i.e. telling her you view her as a brother)
- sent them unsigned Valentine's
- referred to them negatively in a status
- made references to them being a barnyard animal
- said that you tripped them so that they would fall for you
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