Monday, December 12, 2011

The Modern Day Bride Price

So.... apparently in the old days the Bride Price was to prove that he could provide for the young lady. Translate this into modern terms.....
If the young lady loves coffee.... create an assortment of various flavors of coffees, find significant meaning in each one and include a funny mug. If you want bonus points, include a Starbucks Giftcard. This will prove that you can provide for her coffee drinking needs for the rest of her life.
If the young lady enjoys hiking or other outdoor activities.... buy a really expensive pair of hiking shoes, preferably in a white or grey color. Inscribe on these shoes all the things that you like about her. I really am not sure what this proves, but I'm guessing that it proves something.
If the young lady enjoys gardening.... Compose a file of giftcards to various gardening stores. Also give her shovel with a note on it saying that you really dig her. This will prove that not only will she be able to continue her gardening but you will have a life long romance.
If the young lady likes cooking.... Write her a cookbook. Include all your favorites - Pickle Pudding, Hedgehog Soup, and Hotdog Pancakes. Also buy a strainer and leave a note in it letting her know that you hope that cooking for you won't be too straining on her. For bonus points, buy her a frying pan and a DVD version of Tangled. This proves that you will need to buy bigger clothes but you'll have a very happy Wifey Pooh.
If the young lady likes clothing and shopping.... Just don't even go there.... it's not worth it buddy.