Valentine's Day Interview

Leah: If you were depressed on Valentines because you are single would you eat chocolate or seaweed or a combination of both?
Esther Mielke: I would probably start out with a handful of chocolate, and then melt a bowlfull more of chocolate and dip seaweed into it.
Leah: ahhh okay...are you depressed about being single?
Esther Mielke: I am not depressed about myself being single... But what does depress me is when I see ads for "Folgers Singles" because they've been around so long, and there are so many of them, and yet they're all single. They even pack several of them in a box at once, and yet they somehow all still remain single. For awhile, I wondered why these poor things were all so single all the time.. And then I tried them. I quickly discovered why they were single.
Leah:That is definitely really sad. If I were depressed about being single and I had a full year till next Valentine's what advice would you give me to make sure the next one isn't the same?Esther Mielke: First of all, don't drink Folger's Singles. On the other hand, if you do drink Folger's Singles in front of a guy, he might feel sorry for you and buy you Starbucks. Then you can thank him every time you see him after that, and always bring up Folger's Singles, emphasizing the "Single" part, and discuss how the two of you are both like Folger's Singles who need to be replaced with one happy mocha frappe. By next Valentine's Day, even if you're not in a relationship yet, you just might be able to count on that guy giving you another Starbucks. On the other hand, if you're like me and not one for trying to attract guys yourself, well... You're just going to have to pray and eat lots of chocolate-dipped seaweed. Which isn't a bad thing! And when guys find out about your awesome tastes, it might attract interest - and you didn't even have to do anything different for it to happen!
Leah: What's awesome about being single?
Esther Mielke: Singleness is a gift. It only comes once in a lifetime. Sometimes it seems that it takes up too much of our lifetime, but how many times have you heard older persons bragging about how they've stayed single for 60 years, and having a party for it? But we do hear about these couples who make a big deal of celebrating that they've reached a certain anniversary of marriage. Why is that? Well, obviously, marriage must be pretty rough. Of course, marriage does have its benefits - but the easiness of singleness only lasts a short time in most cases, but marriage is forever. So let's all go out have have singleness parties! Celebrate the fact that you can mix bacon into your rice krispy treats, and pickles in the ice cream without anyone getting disturbed over it. Go and be awesome. Single.