Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Are You Better Off Just Adopting a Puppy? (part one)

After reading this far into our blog book, it would not be unusual for you to begin to wonder... What idiot would ever want to be in a courtship anyways? So you walk away from your computer screen and raid your freezer and construct a towering bowl of ice cream with barbecue chips, or whatever your favorite ice cream topping happens to be, and you jump on your couch and are about to dig in and relish the fact that you don't have any complicated relationships to worry about when...
You realize...You're lonely.
You sit and watch a dribble of green juice from the ripple-sliced dill pickle you had stuck on the top of a scoop of orange sherbert. It just doesn't seem as exciting anymore. The pickle juice droplet reaches the bottom of your sugary tower and hits the bottom of the bowl with a thud, which resembles your feelings at the moment. What fun is an ice cream party if you're the only one there? Maybe this whole courtship thing has something to it after all... I mean, what good is life if you can't even enjoy your ice cream?Before you start considering reconsidering like that, you should consider the consideration that there might be another option out there! If you add a few too many pickles to your ice cream, would a spouse eat it for you? Would he or she lick out the rest of your bowl when you've eaten all you want? Unless you are married to me (which you obviously aren't), the answer would probably be no. But who would? The answer isn't a "who," but an "it."
A puppy, of course!
Let's go over a few advantages of just adopting a puppy instead of a complicated courtship:
If you get annoyed with your puppy and want a quiet time, you can just open the door and sent it outside for awhile. On the other hand, I highly doubt you could get away with sending your wife outside to play with a ball while you break your record on Angry Birds.
When cooking a meal for you and your spouse, you have to concern yourself with concocting something that you both would enjoy, and even though you both like spaghetti and meatballs, it just doesn't work to have it three times a day for your entire marriage (with the exception of Cap'n Crunch as a gourmet dinner every so often). On the other hand, your puppy doesn't care if all he gets is dog kibbles, your 3-week-old leftovers, and your very burnt toast for his entire existence on earth.
At that time when your paycheck gets cut and you can barely afford to eat, instead of dividing your morning's pancake with your spouse, why not just send your puppy out to find a squirrel for himself?
Your puppy is in rebellion. She bites you. She barks all night. She makes messes in the most inconvenient places. So you dealt with it. But then when she chews apart that teddy bear you've slept with since you were three... Bye-bye puppy. Hey... you can always find another!

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